Thursday, January 6, 2011

Why Toronto sucks

If you are thinking of coming to Toronto or Canada here are 10 quick reasons to stay away from toronto

1. Bad Transit.  I been to many European countries and in comparision for our cities size their is no explanation why buses are so slow, routinely come late and if you live more than 10 minutes away from a subway in Toronto traveling sucks because of the high amount of traffic.  This country lets in 250,000 people every year and allows them to all come to Toronto, which doesn't bother me, but what does bother me is how there is no attempt to build more roads to accomodate all the new people

2. Rising housing prices even in slums.  Roach infested houses in the most dangerous areas of the city will cost you 1400 a month.  Average house prices is 433,000 and the price of a 25-40 year old bungalow in the north end will run you 500k for no good reason

3. Bed Bug infestation of many places in toronto also sucks

4. Dating scene is terrible.  Ever heard of Mystery and the Mystery method for picking up women.  Well let me just put it this way, there is a reason why despite the fact that Toronto has 2.5 million people or 5 million if you count the suburban regions which have a slightly different flavour, why picking up girls as a psychology comes from Toronto.  Women in this city are just psychotics, no better way to put it than that.  They assume every man is an axe murderer until you prove otherwise.  They are EXTREMELY stand offish even to guys they like because they get so use to being standoffish to men that it just becomes natural for any girl you approach in this city to be either thinking your a serial killer or rude beyond belief.  If you go to any other major city women are normal, sometimes aggressive sometimes less so. The point is that Toronto is the worst city in North America for dating and has one of the highest rates of unmarried people not because people oppose the idea of marriage, it is because of the girls who all have attitude problems.

5.  Little sister syndrome.  Toronto is always trying to prove what a world class city it is and how it is on par with great cities of the world.  It is true there are a variety of things to do here that you will not find in Omaha, however you will quickly realize anything that seems marginally fun is overpriced to the point most Torontonians never do it.  Further Toronto is the uglier little sister of (fill in major world city, tokyo, nyc, la, chi-town, sydney, london whatever) so they are always trying to measure up and show how they are better than everyone else or find some vague Canadian connection to events that in no way involve Canada.  For example, when Barack Obama was elected as President Toronto news anchors on CTV tried to take credit for his winning even after they ran stories during his election that suggested he lied about NAFTA when he gave a speech.  Then after he is elected they are quick to point out how the governor general who was a black french woman appointed by paul martin (more likely because she was from quebec than because she was black) shows that Canadians are less racist or more progressive than America.  O yes, Canada who has never elected a non white to be the mayor of a major city until 2010 in Calgary (an indian) sure is progressive on race relations.  United States has had a black, native american, whites for president, and just about every race as governors and as mayors of major cities.  Canada has never had a single non white prime minister or a single non white premier of a province or even mayor of a major city who was not ethnic in majority.  The reason Canada had a black governor general is because she was appointed, the reason why there is a black man in the senate is because he was appointed, white people would never vote a black person as a premier or prime minister in Canada and that is just the truth, and hundred + years of history agree with me.

6.  Diversity.  Immigrants cannot get jobs despite the fact that they continue to let them in.  Many immigrants come to Canada and have to have a certain skill set.  Most of whom end up in Toronto.  All to find out that if you were a doctor, doctors from Toronto do not like competition so they ensure they make it impossible for any foreign trained person to be qualified or get a job in Canada.  If you were a doctor, lawyer, dentist, teacher, plumber, carpenter, or mawn lower in your previous country realize no one will hire your or recognize your background in Toronto.  At least in the USA this is not always the case and many immigrants to Canada end up in the USA after 5 years.

7.  Torontonians are NOT polite.  While I have not been to ever part of Canada, I can say in my experience Canadians and especially Torontonians are anything but polite.  Just off the top of my head I was watching a basketball game at the ACC, and the raptors was playing the Celtics and one idiot behind me yelled to one of the boston girls who was suppose t cheer up the crowd or whatever hey b*tch come give me a blow job.  Which made me think, if we were in America, that idiot would probably have watched his mouth, I guess the fact that it is difficult for people to get guns in Toronto is maybe why Torontonians are so rude they feel they can insult anyone and there are no consequences.  Now this is not normal in Toronto, normally people say these things behind your back or out of reach of your ear.  However once you live in Toronto long enough you will realize that Torontonians pretend niceness is simply that.  Sure they say please and thank you but that is just human decency.  Point in case ask a stranger for 25 cents for the bus and see how quick this veil of niceness falls to the floor.  Below this pretend niceness is a veneer of hostility that you will only understand if you come here and then find yourself spending Christmas alone whereas if you went to any other place dozens of people would be inviting you over.  Not that I ever have but I know many people who do.  If your not from Toronto it is difficult to make true friends.  What annoys me is that Torontonians are consistently rude yet they some imagine they are polite.

8.  It is difficult to make friends in Toronto, heck because of people's rudeness and arrogance it can even be difficult to make acquaintances with people.  People from Toronto often routinely see each other, like live besides each other and know absolutely nothing about their neighbours.  As in they would not know their neighbours name if the mail man did not accidentally always deliver the mail in the wrong house.  People like to stick within their social circles and not leave them in Toronto.  If you did not grow up here forget having very good friends.  There are only 2 people who you can make friends with here.   1 are those 5-10% of extroverted people in this city.  2 are immigrants who come from other places and have not adopted the I don't make friends with anyone I did not go to grade school with mentality.  Mind you that 50% of the population is foreign born and do not expect to make any Chinese friends if your not Asian.  Now I will say the extroverts all congregate in the heart of downtown so if you ignore my advice you know where to go, clubs, pubs, strip bars and restuarants is where you can strike up conversations with those friendly few in this weird city

9.  A city with no culture, a country with no culture.  Canada is a country in an identity crisis.  For the large part we have no culture so we made up this idea in the 90s that your culture is the culture of where ever you came from so hopefully you have not been in Canada for too long or else your screwed (anyone of non recent immigrant stock).  Canada was a country formed by a group of American colonialist who were too scared, or basically did not like George Washington, to fight with America so they said lets fight for Britain.  We do not know what American is yet but we just know what we do not want to be... Americans.  Canada has never had a culture you see because those original British colonialist had been living in America for about 100 years and done lost all their British ways and WERE Americans.  Then 1 day they decided they did not want to be what they had always been--- Americans,  The result is Canada has no culture.  There is no such thing as authentic Canadiana.  All our best and brightest end up moving to America.  You may think Vancouver has a green culture, nope sorry they copied san francisco, Alberta whole cowboy culture comes from Black Americans who fled the sun down towns from states with idiots like dick cheney and sarah palin.  Ontario obviously immitates the midwest and the atlantic provinces along with quebec are perhaps the only thing close that come to culture in Canada.

10.  God damned airplanes everywhere.  It is impossible to buy a house or live anywhere in the city that does not have 1 million airplanes flying over it.  there is no zoning, no restricted flight areas, people fly anywhere they want and it is not unusual to not hear something someone says because god damn airplanes always flying by.


Really what cocaine are you doing to make you want to move to Toronto?  If you want to be an actor go to LA, if your gay go to San Fran, if you hate gays go to Alabama, if you like good weather go to florida, if you like cold weather go to chicago or alaska, if you want a big business job go to nyc, you want a good quality of life with decent cost of living go to texas or milwaukee.  There is no reason to come to Toronto except that you could not get a job offer in America